Frivolous thinking

I laid it all out in front of you. Everything I had, being open, honest, and straightforward. Maybe a little too straightforward, but I was willing to risk it all. Tried as hard as I could to not be a pain. I was at a standstill. Now seeing you with someone else I was torn apart. But I'm not that type of petty guy that can hate someone over jealousy or some inferiority complex. It was just tougher than I thought it'd be. Words couldn't explain it. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't stand to face you. All I could do was look past you. Looking more like a fool than anything. That awkward stage when we become strangers. I would wonder about all the bad things you might say about me or rumors you might believe. Wondering if you'd still believe in the me that you knew or if it's been written over by the words of other people. All I hope for is for you to believe in me. I honestly can't say any bad things about you. It's awkward enough to even say your name out loud. You're an awesome person, otherwise I wouldn't have felt the way I did. I built this huge bridge to get over you but when I look back I could of easily passed by. I let things get to me too easily, maybe I'm too self conscious. Either way, I now realize I was just a naive kid. Immature? Definitely. Stupid? For sure. I feel like an ass blogging about this but I just wanted to get whatever it was off my chest. It bothers me a lot when I can't work up the courage to say hello to someone I used to care so much about. Maybe I feel a little embarrassed that I wasn't good enough. I don't know. But I'm over it and I'm finally over you. I hope people don't take this the wrong way because this isn't some kind of personal attack so don't think I'm looking for sympathy or any kind of response.