Post-it

Can't sleep so I started to bore myself with writing. Usually I don't post anything and save them as drafts but.. whatever. I have a million drafts!

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Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
—Lao-Tse

I have been thinking a lot lately. Yea, nothing new. Been falling out and trying to find my way. I've been lost for a while now. Not sure where I'm headed or what to do with myself. I'm older and I'm needing to grow up and every time my parents emphasize it, I cringe. Reality is hitting hard and I'm trying to just go with the flow and be happy with what I have now because in the coming years it won't ever be the same again. Thanksgiving was great though. Friends, family, food, and more food. It's nice to see everyone doing fine. Catching up on each others lives. Listening to what they have been doing or will be doing. Seeing my older cousins with children and my sister with her future husband making their future plans.. giving me goosebumps. Slow down! Wait up for me. Is it passing by that fast? Next month my cousin in Cali is getting married and I might be headed there right after my last final. Crazy.

Ever wonder about all the people that pass through your life? From all the people you met outside your family starting with something like kindergarten and up. They just seem to pass by like it was nothing but who knows.. would you have been the same without them? Would you be the same if you had a different teacher? Would you be the same if you didn't have all those classmates? I just wonder about how different I could have been if I stayed and lived in California or if I stayed and lived in Tennessee. One of the reasons I got that stupid tattoo on my wrist saying "fate". It was more a spur of the moment kind of thing, you know, being a reckless and spontaneous kid I am. But that was the only thing I could think of having as a tattoo besides a little butterfly on my lower back. It's barely noticeable but I don't mind it. It's a word that I kind of interpret in my own way. I believe that things just seem to happen in the right ways some times and it's indescribable. I do believe we have choices and our decisions inevitably make out our character and lifestyle. It's just all the little things. To every person I've met and every person that might have changed me. It was fate. But how far I go with that person is my choice. So any person I'm interested in, I'm pretty straightforward. If I don't like you, then you're just a ghost to me. If I like you then you're a good person. And if I really like you, well I'm more forward than I should be. I'd rather have it without the b.s., lies on the side, with some meaning on it please? Thanks! If it works out, then it works out. If it doesn't, so what? Your experiences make the story of your life. Have something you would want to write in it.

Lots of things to do this coming month. Hope it's a lot of fun.

Today is Monday..
I've been rambling on forever long. Calling it a night.