Bobby's World

Mind Over Matter

2011-10-26T16:30:00.007-05:00

Finishing up my final year at OU has motivated me more than ever.

Leaving my impact on the future generation of kids has inspired me to be a better person.

Being at my sister's wedding was the first time I've ever cried tears of happiness.

This year has opened me up to a lot of new experiences that I never would've imagined.

I learned a lot more in this past year than I ever did in the previous three.

Picking up reading again has made my days more fulfilling and enlightening.

My personal five pillars I've made for my-self.

self-concept - know who you are
self-realization - know what you're capable of
self-awareness - focus on who you want to be
self-confidence - be confident and positive
self-control - have willpower

The End.

Move Along, Move Along

2011-06-22T00:41:00.018-05:00

This shit goes hard.

The Weeknd - Wicked Games

I'm hoping to keep up the good vibes I've been having by listening to music every day and now I can't even imagine how my life would be without it. Music really is medicinal. Open your ears, humble yourself, and let it all soak in.

I haven't been on this forever. Been busy with life, staying out of trouble, and just trying to have a good time. I tend to forget things less important to me when I try to take care of myself first and foremost. Not trying to say I'm more important than everyone else but I can honestly say I've been doing really well and have been enjoying life a lot more since I've started to care less. Being selfish has never felt so good. From the words of Bill Cosby - "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." My dude is righteous. Too many people in this world try to live up to everyone else's expectations or expect too many things from other people. Just do you because I'm starting to see that if you take care of yourself first, everything else will follow.

I understand where I've been, I've accepted who I am, I know what I want to become, and I'm finally feeling good about it. Cheers!

2011-01-31T03:11:00.000-06:00

i have no use for someone who plucks the feathers from their own wings

Cover to cover

2011-01-22T03:35:00.017-06:00

Everyone has a past. Simple, complex, whatever, but if you really knew the past of a certain someone maybe your feelings for that person could change completely or even deepen.

Alive.

2011-01-03T01:50:00.016-06:00

I want the full effect. I don't like having second thoughts. If something comes hot, I want it burning hot, and if it comes cold I want it ice cold. Anything lukewarm just doesn't taste right. It's like this; If something good happens, I hope it's the best thing ever.

Frivolous thinking

2010-11-01T05:22:00.022-05:00

I laid it all out in front of you. Everything I had, being open, honest, and straightforward. Maybe a little too straightforward, but I was willing to risk it all. Tried as hard as I could to not be a pain. I was at a standstill. Now seeing you with someone else I was torn apart. But I'm not that type of petty guy that can hate someone over jealousy or some inferiority complex. It was just tougher than I thought it'd be. Words couldn't explain it. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't stand to face you. All I could do was look past you. Looking more like a fool than anything. That awkward stage when we become strangers. I would wonder about all the bad things you might say about me or rumors you might believe. Wondering if you'd still believe in the me that you knew or if it's been written over by the words of other people. All I hope for is for you to believe in me. I honestly can't say any bad things about you. It's awkward enough to even say your name out loud. You're an awesome person, otherwise I wouldn't have felt the way I did. I built this huge bridge to get over you but when I look back I could of easily passed by. I let things get to me too easily, maybe I'm too self conscious. Either way, I now realize I was just a naive kid. Immature? Definitely. Stupid? For sure. I feel like an ass blogging about this but I just wanted to get whatever it was off my chest. It bothers me a lot when I can't work up the courage to say hello to someone I used to care so much about. Maybe I feel a little embarrassed that I wasn't good enough. I don't know. But I'm over it and I'm finally over you. I hope people don't take this the wrong way because this isn't some kind of personal attack so don't think I'm looking for sympathy or any kind of response.

2010-07-17T02:46:00.000-05:00

Slowly but surely.

2010-05-30T01:20:00.002-05:00

Life has been moving in a more positive direction and the fact that I want to get out of Oklahoma has increased my motivation. Time will tell.

2010-05-22T04:33:00.005-05:00

I've been looking at old photos and thinking about all my friends. We'll all seem to drift apart at one time or another but I hope that we can all still accept things as they once were. One of the best things I would like to look forward to in life is that even if we all somehow separate from each other to wherever our futures take us, we would at least be able to meet up every year for that one weekend to play flag football.

2010-05-19T11:18:00.006-05:00

I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let…
Let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.
-Tyler Durden

Bah bee

2010-05-18T06:27:00.011-05:00

The world doesn't always reveal the truth. It's up to you to distinguish between the truth and the lies. To whine about things being unfair shows what a spoiled little brat you are.

Solo

2010-05-17T02:36:00.000-05:00

"Traveling solo allows for a time of introspection, relaxation and self-discovery, where you can take the time to absorb the finer things the world has to offer."

Half asleep or half awake, whichever you prefer.

2010-05-04T03:26:00.008-05:00

I'm tired. People seem to know me better than I know myself. You can think what you want. People will always have their perception of me. Some think I'm doing good things because I want to change that. I actually can care less. So don't build me up on that crap. No matter what I do, good or bad, I will always be the person you perceive me to be. And that's fine with me.

World Cup

2010-04-22T01:15:00.003-05:00

I'll be staying up all night and day watching the World Cup. T-minus 50 days!

2010-04-21T00:58:00.003-05:00

"Promises mean everything, but after they are broken, sorry means nothing."

50/50

2010-04-14T01:59:00.008-05:00

"Most of us miss out on life’s big prizes. The Pulitzer. The Nobel. Oscars. Tonys. Emmys. But we’re all eligible for life’s small pleasures. A pat on the back. A kiss behind the ear. A four-pound bass. A full moon. An empty parking space. A crackling fire. A great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup. Cold beer."

I can't let things that didn't happen bring me down. I really should just appreciate the moment. I might not always achieve greatness but I can always try to. I just need to remember that it's not as necessary as I assume it to be. No one wants to fail, but you can't help but fall a few times. I just need to wake up in the morning and feel blessed that I can make my day however I want it to be.

People change. There's no doubt about that. Hopefully it's always for the better. I used to hate my parents when I was a kid, but now I love them. I used to always fight with my sister, but now I always think about what I should do to make her not worry about me. I used to hold grudges, but now I don't give a fuck. Things end up the way they are now from being self aware. Awareness of your past thoughts and actions. Come to an understanding and accept it.

I really want to make amends but I just don't have the heart to. So for now I'll keep on doing what I do. No remorse, no hard feelings, no sorrys. Life moves on.

Braid

2010-04-11T22:04:00.019-05:00

"Everyone in this world acknowledges the truth only as what is convenient for them."

I've just finished up playing this addicting game called Braid. It's a simple platform game that manipulates time to solve puzzles. After I finished it, I was kind of taken back on how good this game really was and intrigued on the plot of the story.

Here is the game faq that explains the gist of the story.-
"Tim is a man searching for a princess who has been snatched by a horrible and evil monster. His relationship with this princess is vague at best, and the only clear part of this relationship is that Tim has made some sort of mistake which he hopes to reconcile or, if possible, erase. As one progresses through the six worlds in Braid, storyline text at the beginning of each world provides further insight into Tim's quest for the princess, and alludes to the overarching gameplay mechanic of each level. The themes evoked include forgiveness, desire, and frustration. The final level, in which everything but Tim moves in reverse, depicts the princess escaping from a knight, and working together with Tim to surpass obstacles and meet at her home. Tim is suddenly locked out of the house, and, as time progresses forward, reversing Tim's actions, the events show the princess running from Tim, setting traps that he is able to evade, until she is rescued by the knight. Tim is revealed to be the "monster" the princess is running from."

Braid is about chasing an evasive goal and the consequences suffered both chasing it and ultimately reaching it. It's about learning from your experiences and mistakes chasing that goal. This story is about Tim who regrets his decisions and actions in his relationship and his wish to rewind time.

In completing the levels and attaining all the stars and puzzle pieces, you become obsessive just like Tim is with the princess because you really don't need those pieces to actually complete the level and correspondingly Tim doesn't need the princess either. His goal of trying to reach the princess represents his obsession. His obsession is the princess and in the ending the princess represents destruction.

I'm sure there are plenty of other interpretations of the game by other people, but I have to say that this was most satisfying platform game I've ever played. The ending, which is actually the beginning, is ingenious.

Good Will Hunting

2010-03-25T02:19:00.004-05:00

I've been watching a lot of movies lately and this movie here is one of my favorites. I've watched it twice in the past week. If you haven't seen it or don't remember it, watch it.

Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right?
[Will nods]
Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

Doesn't change anything.

2010-03-21T01:00:00.008-05:00

Growing up I was truly the most naive kid, in his own little world. I believed in everybody, ceded my trust to every new friend. Just innocent and unscathed, young and incompetent. Until that conclusive event that changed my life forever. I was betrayed. I forgave. And I was betrayed again.

I'm the villager and you're crying wolf.

Mellow yellow

2010-02-09T22:37:00.033-06:00

The world doesn't wait so you got to keep on moving.

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Patience is something I need and I'm sure life can be really good if you're good at waiting. If you know me, I tend to go after what I want, say what I want, or do what I want. It's not a bad thing but it's not that good either. I don't notice until it's too late, but I do rush things sometimes. I just run with it, not much hesitation. I need to take time to consider what's best for me or the other person. I'm always hopeful, but in the back of my mind I honestly know things don't always go the way you would like them to. I'm needing some more positives in my day. Maybe more basketball.

Well, every day has been flying by. I'm alive and I'm healthy. I've been keeping to myself so you would probably only see me if I'm at work or at the gym. I don't know how to deal with people right now or how to feel about everyone, especially the few close people in my life. I'm not important but sometimes it's nice to just feel appreciated. Maybe when things start to get real busy I'll just forget about it all.

How far can I go without turning back?

2010-01-25T00:37:00.015-06:00

"If you've never been at the bottom, you can't get to the top...If you've never been to the right, you can't go to the left...If you've never lost hope, you can't understand what is truly important."

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It's another beginning to a new year and another beginning to a part of my life. I've made a huge and drastic change and it's hard for me to explain it to people but I'm taking a detour in this path of life and hopefully this detour isn't leading to any dead end. Let's just say, I'm not looking for the easiest path or the fastest, just the right one. This year though, has already been great. My new year's eve was unforgettable and these last few weeks have been real encouraging, relaxing, and fun. I still feel uncertain about what's ahead but things have been going so well lately that this uncertainty kind of excites me. I'm actually anxious. I'm looking forward to what might happen and I'm determined to improve myself. Even if I did have a great year last year, I'm always hoping that the next would always be better than the last, otherwise there wouldn't be anything more to live for. My eyes are open, my heart is taken, and my mind is able. 2010, be good to me.

love dischord

2009-12-22T04:11:00.001-06:00

"No one is ever too busy, they're just too busy for YOU. Even the President of the United States makes time everyday to have dinner with his wife and kids. She does believe in love (even if she doesn't know it yet) she just isn't in love with you."

Untitled

2009-12-12T04:30:00.002-06:00

I want to be together, so I can kiss you whenever I want.

Post-it

2009-11-30T03:21:00.018-06:00

Can't sleep so I started to bore myself with writing. Usually I don't post anything and save them as drafts but.. whatever. I have a million drafts!

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Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
—Lao-Tse

I have been thinking a lot lately. Yea, nothing new. Been falling out and trying to find my way. I've been lost for a while now. Not sure where I'm headed or what to do with myself. I'm older and I'm needing to grow up and every time my parents emphasize it, I cringe. Reality is hitting hard and I'm trying to just go with the flow and be happy with what I have now because in the coming years it won't ever be the same again. Thanksgiving was great though. Friends, family, food, and more food. It's nice to see everyone doing fine. Catching up on each others lives. Listening to what they have been doing or will be doing. Seeing my older cousins with children and my sister with her future husband making their future plans.. giving me goosebumps. Slow down! Wait up for me. Is it passing by that fast? Next month my cousin in Cali is getting married and I might be headed there right after my last final. Crazy.

Ever wonder about all the people that pass through your life? From all the people you met outside your family starting with something like kindergarten and up. They just seem to pass by like it was nothing but who knows.. would you have been the same without them? Would you be the same if you had a different teacher? Would you be the same if you didn't have all those classmates? I just wonder about how different I could have been if I stayed and lived in California or if I stayed and lived in Tennessee. One of the reasons I got that stupid tattoo on my wrist saying "fate". It was more a spur of the moment kind of thing, you know, being a reckless and spontaneous kid I am. But that was the only thing I could think of having as a tattoo besides a little butterfly on my lower back. It's barely noticeable but I don't mind it. It's a word that I kind of interpret in my own way. I believe that things just seem to happen in the right ways some times and it's indescribable. I do believe we have choices and our decisions inevitably make out our character and lifestyle. It's just all the little things. To every person I've met and every person that might have changed me. It was fate. But how far I go with that person is my choice. So any person I'm interested in, I'm pretty straightforward. If I don't like you, then you're just a ghost to me. If I like you then you're a good person. And if I really like you, well I'm more forward than I should be. I'd rather have it without the b.s., lies on the side, with some meaning on it please? Thanks! If it works out, then it works out. If it doesn't, so what? Your experiences make the story of your life. Have something you would want to write in it.

Lots of things to do this coming month. Hope it's a lot of fun.

Today is Monday..
I've been rambling on forever long. Calling it a night.

Composure

2009-10-31T03:04:00.006-05:00

Sometimes I look at you and you're not looking at me.

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Top 10 Reasons for Men to Stay Single

I found this list of top 10 reasons for men to stay single from a magazine and I revised it a bit. This is pretty right, but you know there are pros and cons to everything.

10. Your career will benefit
-You have more time to concentrate. Women demand quality time but you won't have time for that if you're trying to move up in life.

9. You never need to make plans for two
-Happiness means never having to ask permission. If you have a significant other you would always have to plan something out differently than you would if you were single and hanging out with the fellas.

8. You'll be healthier
-When people get locked down, they kind of let themselves go. Single guys try to keep in peak physical shape to attract female attention.

7. Parties are more fun
-You can have as much fun as you want til whenever you want. Problem free.

6. You can enjoy your personal space
-You won't feel bad not picking up the phone. Sometimes you just want to be alone.

5. You'll save money
-Self-explanatory

4. You're more truthful
-You don't want to argue so you tell her she looks good in anything. You can tell that most guys in relationships hold their opinions back a lot more to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

3. You can watch whatever you want
-No soap operas or chick flicks. Only ESPN and bad ass movies.

2. You can spend more time with friends
-Being around your friends can only keep you sane.

1. You learn what you need from a relationship
-Being single offers one final advantage that doesn’t get talked about much. Couples deny it and single people themselves rarely realize it. But the fact is, being alone is an incredible opportunity to learn about yourself. The longer you’re single before getting married, the better off you’ll be, because only single people truly know what makes them happy. Unless you’ve spent years drinking your inhibitions away, putting yourself out there, experiencing the thrill of one-night stands, and coping with the agony of rejection, how can you really know yourself? Playing the field is merely doing due diligence while having a damn good time.

Hola!

2009-09-25T03:41:00.013-05:00

"People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated."

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Basketball, flag football, dance and step, my new little sis. It's been real cool.
Hopefully it'll stay this way. I'm excited about college football and excited about all the events coming up. School is hard and it's killing me. As bad as this sounds, I'm trying to try harder. Alright, done rambling.

Currently listening to Like Me Real Hard by Mario

[Verse 1]
We've had such a great time in these past two months
I never laughed so much in my life
It's been all about us
Since that time we had that intimate talk
Suddenly you're actin' strange plus
Your conversation just upped and changed
Is it because you're afraid
What you feelin' for me
Is the beginning of a new heart break?
Hear me when I say

[Chorus]
You ain't gotta give me your love
You ain't gotta say I'm your one
You ain't gotta tell me where you be
'Cause you ain't obligated to me
I'm not sayin' that
You should just
Rush and give me your heart
I'm just askin' that you like me real hard
Just like me real hard

[Verse 2]
You know just like I know
We've been broken by love
And we both need time to heal
That's why in this short amount of time
We've grown so close 'cause you relate to
Everything I feel
So let's not complicate things by
Placing titles on you and I
But what we can do before we make the next move
We gotta find the perfect reason why
So believe me when I say

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
You ain't ready to fall in love
And I ain't ready to care so much
We ain't ready for commitment right now
But together we can work something out
And we'll know when the time is right
Because we'll feel it in our hearts
It will be written in the stars
But for now
Just like me real hard

[Chorus]

Passing through.

2009-09-09T03:10:00.004-05:00

"serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change things I can, and wisdom to know the difference"

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My dad has this quote he always tells me every time I get in some sort of trouble or when we argue. He always puts up these corny lines but I know he means best. He says "Bobby, life is like a mountain. You're trying to reach the top and that's where I believe you'll be happy. I can't push or pull you. I can only guide you and tell you where to place your footing and it's your choice to listen to me or not. I'm only watching out for you and telling you which rocks are stable and which rocks can bring you down." My dad tries to lecture me in a mix of engrish and Laotian so it's kind of hard to understand but this is the gist of it. My parents lecture me all the time. I mean ALL the time. One of the reasons I barely go home or ask them for anything. It's all good though, I know all they have is love for me and it's nice to have somewhere I can always go back to no matter what happens.

I'm good now. Enjoying the things I have and the people that are around me. School has been fun and it's nice meeting all these new people. My work schedule is a lot easier this semester and it's great to work in the morning instead of at night. I feel like accomplish more when I have my evenings free. Living in the house with 5 other guys has already been a good experience. It's nice to grow a little bit closer to a different set of friends. Shooting pool everyday and singing karaoke every night will be some good memories. It's good to laugh everyday and it's convenient to be the center of where everyone meets.

I've been a little unstable these past couple days. I've been thoroughly disappointed on many occasions and I don't expect much of anything anymore. I had a moment of self-revelation today. All these emotions, people, and false hopes are just confusing me with what is really important. No matter what happens, everything in the world is still moving. I'm just trying to keep up with it all. I can always think about things and let myself feel down but I can always make myself feel better. Think simple and let me do me. It's like having fun by making it fun. Things won't always go my way so I just have to adjust. I'm trying real hard to look at the bigger picture. To stand on my own two feet and not give anyone the worst of me. I'm making an attempt to feel apathetic about it all but it's hard. Especially trying to care less about certain people. Feeling like my effort and thought go to waste. Ahhh it sucks so bad but what can I do? Just continue waiting I guess. Everything will turn out fine though, I'm sure.

It's killing me.

2009-09-05T23:41:00.009-05:00

I'm a mess. Staying in on a Saturday night trying to put my thoughts together. I'm full of dissapointment. Can't believe I'm acting like this. I just don't know anymore.

Currently listening to Zodiac by The Dream --> http://www17.zippyshare.com/v/76206136/file.html

[Intro]
What's your zodiac sign
Shorty what your sign is [x3]
What's your zodiac sign

[Verse 1]
Lately you've been leaning my way
There's something that I wanna say
But part of me don't really wanna ask
We've been getting along so fine
The questions torment in my mind
I may not like the answer you give back
Forever way you like me
Or some form of back breaker
Cause we're caught up in what might be
Or will we know how to make up
Last time our signals weren't on deck
Shoulder signs no respect
Spent the whole summer being put in check

[Chorus]
What's your sign, your sign
I wanna know if we connect
Are you Aries, Virgo, Taurus, Gemini
Girl holla back
Hey what's your sign, your sign
Are you Leo, Libra, Capricorn
I think I met my match
I gotta know your zodiac
What's your sign, your sign
Scorpio, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Pisces, Cancer
Please say the right things
What's your sign, your sign [x4]

[Chorus 2]
Shorty what your sign is [x6]

[Verse 2]
Now
I'm going through another day
And every piece of you has grown on me
Warmed up to you to a point of no return
I'm thinking on the one to twelve chance
But there's only eight percent
As I await your confirmation I feel it burning
I think I seen the first stone in a ring that you wore
Now I'm thinking back to previous relationships before
I truly adore you and I really want more of you
They say opposites attract
But I don't know know know know know know know

[Chorus]
What's your sign, your sign
I wanna know if we connect
Are you Aries, Virgo, Taurus, Gemini
Girl holla back
Hey what's your sign, your sign
Are you Leo, Libra, Capricorn
I think I met my match
I gotta know your zodiac
What's your sign, your sign
Scorpio, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Pisces, Cancer
Please say the right things
What's your sign, your sign [x4]

[Chorus 2]
Shorty what your sign is [x9]

When the walls come down.

2009-08-04T01:14:00.005-05:00

You never know you're losing control until you've lost it all. Trying to take my own advice and make it through alive. No worry, no stress, no problem. =)

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Too much to say about this last weekend. It was one of the best weekends of the summer for sure and that is that.

Here's a song of what I'm feelin right now. This is my jam. Listen.
Case of You by Marques Houston --> http://www.mediafire.com/?mqmmjlcklgk

Um yea.

2009-07-25T21:50:00.002-05:00

Deleted the last post cause that was just weird.

Anyways, Kobe is the man!

Just keep swimming.

2009-07-18T03:16:00.021-05:00

So today I found out that my dog has passed away. 11 years! I love my dog.. =(
I need something good to happen for once..

Everything is Optional

2009-07-15T23:45:00.019-05:00

If you see someone going through a tough time, you would help them out. So if you're going through a tough time, you should see to it that you help yourself too. Don't think about the things you should have done or what you should have said. You can't simply forget about it because it did happen, it did affect you, and it might have changed you. So don't forget the past but instead make room for the future. Kind of cliché , I know, but people should tell themselves to put the bad behind them so they'll be able to see what's ahead.

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What am I doing? IDK! I'm kind of at a loss. Somehow I always find a way to mess things up. Sorry, it's hard for me to hold back no matter how hard I try. Dumb! I feel like I'm tiptoeing on a very thin line, looking over the edge, if that makes any sense at all. I should have been more patient and let things settle in. Cause what you need is time. Then maybe I could get an honest answer from you. I just couldn't wait any longer..

Summer Days, Summer Daze

2009-07-02T15:52:00.055-05:00

"Share your sorrows with others and they will minimize. Share your joys with others and they will maximize."

I never realized how naive I still was until last night. Thanks. I still have some more growing up to do.

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I was looking at the Maxim top 100 at work yesterday and Olivia Wilde is number 1!

She is gorgeous! I watched the Drake video for 'best I ever had' and that shit was pretty wack, dissappointed cause it could have been so much better. Currently listening to the Trey Songz album Anticipation but I don't think I like it lol. Been trying to save a lot of money this month. Hopefully I'll go visit H-town at the beginning of August and hit up that sneaker summit. I need to get away for a little bit before school starts. Been shopping online lately. Maybe cause I'm bored. But I've been thinking that if I saved all the money I have spent on alcohol I would've had a sick ass wardrobe, fml.

Been jamming to R&B everyday. Since it's the summer, all I really listen to right now are my slow jams. Just taking it easy.
Hot tracks of the moment:
Decisions by Ne-Yo --> http://www16.zippyshare.com/v/50737752/file.html
Weather by Brandon Hines --> http://www20.zippyshare.com/v/70799458/file.html
A Case of You by Marques Houston --> http://www.mediafire.com/?mqmmjlcklgk
Tender Roni (Handcuffin') by P Pleasure --> http://www5.zippyshare.com/v/65603237/file.html
Wetter by Sammie --> http://www1.zippyshare.com/v/80437965/file.html

RIP Michael Jackson (1958-2009)

Moving out, moving up, moving on.

2009-06-06T05:14:00.008-05:00

We judge ourselves by our own standards. Others judge us by theirs. Don't let what they think about you interfere with what you think about yourself. Keep your head up.

---------------------------- ------------------- ----- -- - - - -

---deleted section

Just moved completely out of the house on Eastgate Drive. Lots of memories..good and bad. Been bumming on a futon and living out of my container of clothes for the past week. Still needing to get my shit together with work and school but life has been good overall. Been thinking a lot about this past year and what could have been. Damn. I guess relationships aren't that overrated.

Oh, by the way, Kobe Bryant is the man. Go Lakers!

See-It-All

2009-05-16T14:50:00.009-05:00

Junior year has come to an end! The break between the spring semester and fall semester is my new years. I think it should be extensively celebrated between these 2 and half months. Every school year has been a great experience. I always get good memories from year to year from where I live to who've I met to the places I've been and to what I've learned in school and out of school. This jr. year has got to be the year I've learned most about myself, as I almost got a girlfriend but didn't. Nothing works out the way you want. Anyone can tell you that, but of course you learn most from your mistakes and you try not to regret things you didn't do, but you still do lol. Well anyways, look forward! As to next week I will be in Seattle!!

Lately I've been having a frustrating time with my life and it's been good for a while now. Trying to control my zen! Sorry for my mood swings.
As summer comes around, we'll be fixing up a house on the west side of campus to live innn.. July? It's going to be niiiiiice. Be jealous!

Gtg work, peace.

Spring Sh..Snow!

2009-03-28T01:13:00.011-05:00

It's March 28 and it's SNOWING!!

It's been a real chill week. Didn't have much to do except work. Been getting together with the bros to work on our step and dance routine for INVASIAN! lol Hope all goes well cause we only got a week... yep. We'll get it together though.

One of my friends showed me a video on youtube that was pretty damn funny. It's like a cute little girl on some crack or something. jk but it just reminded me of how imaginative little kids are and how we all were at some point. It's awesome so WATCH IT!

If you haven't heard of Drake, get his new album. He's a rapper/singer and he's pretty damn good at both. He's gonna explode.

Hot track of the moment: Drake - Best I Ever Had

True Life : I'm addicted to blockles.

2009-03-26T14:49:00.006-05:00

Austin

2009-03-02T19:22:00.009-06:00

The convention weekend was what I needed. It was great! Chilling with the homies and partying the night away in Austin two nights in a row. People down there show some great hospitality. Can't wait to go back down there when I have the time to. Until next time!

2009-02-16T01:11:00.003-06:00

Well, I've found myself in another hole. I can't understand why I put myself in these situations. It hurts. It really does. I just can't understand, why I do this, what is wrong with me, why I can't take the initiative.. It's there, but I just can't reach out and grab it. The last time I threw myself out there, there was no one to catch me. I'm unsure, always unsure. I need to be more open. Yea, I'm horrible at communication, yea, I'm horrible at showing how I care, yea, I'm just plain terrible, yea, she deserves better... I longed for a relationship. I wanted it for something real, but I just couldn't make it happen. Maybe I'm still not ready for this and I don't know if I'll ever be ready. I'm done looking. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I know that aching feeling just as well as anybody and I try to avoid it just like anyone else. I can't stop thinking about this. I hope, cause that's all I can do. I'm not confident enough, brave enough, or strong enough for anybody right now. It drives me crazy at how weak of a person I can be.. Damnit!! Get yourself together!

2009-02-10T03:02:00.004-06:00

Chi Town

Let my efforts rise above my excuses.

--------------------- ----------- ----- --- - -- - -

It makes me feel real down when I start losing touch with a person I care a lot about.

2008-12-25T07:11:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Hopefully by the end of this break I'll have my website all nice and finished. What goes on a website? Well, whatever the hell you want. =) Just finished with the blog layout, now onto the main site! .. I still like my door, we'll see what happens to it.

2008-10-07T02:23:00.000-05:00

I really can't put anything into words right now.

2008-06-25T08:03:00.001-05:00

So it's 6 a.m. and I just got done reading a book. Pretty much read it in a day. I haven't read for leisure in a good half decade. Here's a quote I found in this book that caught my attention:

"I think that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people."

I don't feel happy, not very sad at all, been somewhat pissy, easily annoyed, and a little relieved but down at the same time. Past few weeks I've been thinking a lot on how I should just feel about everything going on in my life. There just seems to be no sense of direction in anything I have been doing lately. I need a getaway. Honesty is my policy and I've not been following through.

I see light coming through my window. Let me sleep this off.

2008-06-03T05:16:00.000-05:00

i'm stuck thinking about the things I should of forgot.

i like to be out there. no strings attached. letting me fly high with nothing, no one, nobody to hold on to. Feels comforting. i hate having people depend on me, actually i just hate letting people down. man,.. i really hate letting people down..

2007-11-20T07:27:00.001-06:00

Denver---

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go what you can't change.

--------------------------------- ---------------- --------- --- -- - - -

I'm down and out. Running on empty and feeling out of place.
Mixed emotions and hopeless thinking.
I really don't know what to do.
I'm good with just a laugh or a smile.
My least favorite word: "lies"
Let me just walk away like always.

2007-09-24T02:58:00.001-05:00

people have always been asking me- "when are you going to get a girlfriend?"
truth is, i've been looking for a while now.
people have always been telling me- "you're too picky."
truth is, i probably am, but at least i know what i want.

and here is some more honesty, i think i've found the one.
and the truth is, shes goofy, fun, beautiful, and taken.

can't stop thinking.
makes me wonder what im doing and where im going with all this mess.
my life just sucks doesn't it?

2007-07-19T07:09:00.000-05:00

There just might be some hope out there for me.

"The stars twinkle because their surroundings are pitch black.
Pitch black exists to make the stars shine.
Am I like that?"

-------------------------- -------------- ---------- ------ --- -- - - -

I ll be missing out on the music festival next weekend in Tulsa. Sad, sad.
But then again I ll be going to Denver with my family.
Maybe I can go snowboarding! That would be worth it.
Just when I thought I had a good sleeping schedule going, I m up again!
Summer is flying by; still a lot more things I want to do, hopefully they turn out the best.

2007-07-02T10:04:00.000-05:00

I've been covering my ears but the truth still slips through my fingers.

----------------------- --------------- ------ -- - - -

2007-06-07T04:36:00.000-05:00

What you believe and the decisions you make are your own responsibilities.

--------------------- ------------- --------- ------ -- - - -

summer has been nice so far. here are some pictures from a concert i went to. loan owes me ice cream for passing out in the front row. just kidding, and yea shes okay cause i saved her life.. sorta (^_^;)

2007-05-22T16:16:00.000-05:00

my dog died. im sad.

2007-04-09T06:23:00.001-05:00

fishing. like a boss!

I'd been thinking for a while.. whether there's any meaning to a failed love.
Is something that will dissappear the same as something that never existed?

------------------------ -------------- ------- --- - - - -

Well school is hell, i never get enough sleep. Late night, come home
Work sucks, I know Na Na Na Na..... yeaa well 1 year is almost done. 5-6 more? ouch.
I still don't know who I'm going to be rooming with next year. I need to raise my grades.
I'm tired of waiting. Basketball on Monday, flag football on Wednesday.
Time to win the lottery. Essays suck and studying is driving me crazy.
I am tired.

2007-03-25T09:11:00.000-05:00

I think it's alot easier to place the blame on yourself than someone else - not the other way around.
If you blame someone else, you'll get stubborn and say you hate them or you'll never forgive them.
But when you blame yourself, you can shrug it off since theres nothing you can do about it.
And you won't get angry that way, either. It's easier... I guess I'm just not being fair.

--------------------- ------------- ---------- ----- --- -- - - - -

2007-02-10T05:30:00.000-06:00

...just like that... we're slowly becoming strangers, aren't we?

--------------------- ------------ ------ --- -- - - -

Angels and Airwaves!

The Sounds!

Daphne loves Derby!

Meg and Dia!

Some things are meant to end. Because without endings, nothing new can begin, right? Right.

2007-01-09T09:54:00.000-06:00

bide your time, and hold out hope.

----------------------- ------------------ ----------- ----- -- - - - -

im living at my little apartment on Lindsey Street....
Work has gotten a little better and im getting used to the whole food service industry.
and if you didn't know, I'm not in the furniture business anymore.
I work at tea cafe and im a waiter and a tea boy sometimes haha
life has been cruel and hard on me man....
i have been so poor these past months cause of bills.
car messing up, eating unhealthy, sleeping unhealthy.
ahhhhhh im messed up! but whatever these past few months have been fun i gotta admit.
life has changed a little from what it used to be but i think im still myself.
and yea.. things that don't change go extinct
i really wish i kept in touch with some more friends and i really hope they re doing great.

2006-07-22T04:17:00.001-05:00

(somewhere downtown okc)

When youre at the bottom, move up and onward cause you cant be down forever.

-------------------- --------------- -------- ---- --- - - - -

Summer has been nice and smooth. Had alot of good times so far. Jetskiing with danny has been bad fucking ass and hanging out with the fellas is always a good time. Too bad my punk ass homie Andrew moved to Kansas - but he ll be back! Life has been great and I know it will just keep on getting better cause I'll be moving out at the end of this month. So come visit me in Norman ok? Bring me food. haha Bye

2006-05-16T01:03:00.000-05:00

Westmoore Graduation
Thursday, May 18th 7:00 pm
At the Cox Convention Center

2006-05-05T21:36:00.000-05:00

prom was fun - there was nothing more i could of asked for

the fellas

the ladies

hahahaha look at an mai get his groove on hahahHAHahahha

2006-04-19T15:02:00.000-05:00

one more month guys and gals

the coolest people on the planet! look at the handsome man in brown (^_^;)

2006-03-27T00:05:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Sis (March 24)

2006-03-18T17:09:00.000-06:00

im always too late to notice
dont give up on me yet

---------------------- ------------- ----------- -------- ----- - - - -- - - - -

road trips are fun
ONLY
when you know where youre going
or if you know what youre doing
or if there wasnt any road work and traffic
or if you dont have any rain and fog
or if you have enough time to do things
or if you have maps and shit
haha we re raggedy but its cool

yea.. we re rockstars

haha loan is funny

2006-03-06T00:04:00.000-06:00

''my hopes are so high that youre kiss might kill me. so wont you kill me? so i die happy.
my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery
whichever you prefer."

---------------- ------------ --------- -------- ------- ---- -- - -- -

update on bobby thatvihadlajsdlfkl
okay havent been on this thing for a long time
a week till spring break with 4 more days to suffer
looking forward to the end of the year
havent been doing much except school and work (34 hours a week!)
just been to a couple birthdays
been playing basketball alot and going to the gym after work
getting my stroke on and getting in shape for the warm days
you know..
having bad luck with my car right now
my bumper got cracked up and i keep getting door dings from people.. fuckers
and heres some advice for some certain people
----you shouldnt worry at all about what people say about you that you know isnt true
especially if you dont really care about those people - so why bother? if its gonna make
you crazy sad or angry might as well not even listen and forget about it - for real
so life.. its been tiring ..i feel like falling over and dying in the morning
and girls... well theres this one but she doesnt have time for me haha yea im a loser
and school... pfft whens graduation? cant wait
but for now im just going with the flow
dont have the time to try care or worry about anything
i even have to work on spring break cause my coworkers are going to california
and yea i still havent asked
i will though! i promise! haha leave me alone

2006-01-09T00:36:00.000-06:00

the lake

somethings wrong with me
im so stupid haha geez
life has been hard on me
but i think im getting used to it
"hold your head high heavy heart"

------------- ------------ -------- ------ ---- -- - - - - -

my dog went through surgery
she had a tumor removed
i felt sorry for her - but its funny now cause she can barely move
and she snores like a vacuum
omg shes so fat
school tomorrow - maybe i wont wake up on "accident"
the break was nice and every day it felt like i slept through half of it
this is kind of late but yea
2006 should be good

heres the pics i cut and pasted of the cool kids on new years

2005-12-29T01:57:00.000-06:00

sunrise

everyone seems to care so much about their first relationship their first love or their 'first'
im more concerned about my last =P

----------------- ----------- ------ --- -- - - -- - - -

giant christmas tree

me, loan, thi, and andrew

went to dallas
spent alot of money
had alot of laughs
listened to thi sing
ate alot of sushi
switched drivers in the middle of the highway going 80
screamed my lungs out singing just to bother loan
legs went numb at the end of the day
nice fun day

2005-12-25T15:25:00.000-06:00

in the summer i planted some perilla and basil
with the bright sun they grew quickly
after a storm the stem of my perilla was bent and leaning over
i asked my friend what i should do and she said
"you should break it off there so a new stem
will grow with new flowers beautifully"
i was hesitant
because the leaves on the stem
still looked as healthy as it did before

after a few days i found the perilla
broken and crushed under its own weight lying on the dirt
my friend was right
i should of broke it off there and let a new stem grow
but i couldnt break this feeling
i couldnt

------------------ -------- ----- --- -- - - - - - -

been doing some thinking
and i figured out what to do. ... sorta

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

2005-12-19T22:52:00.000-06:00

after rubbing my heavy eyelids
i wonder what it was i was looking for

--------- ------ ---- --- -- - - - --

Westmoore Asian Club. ice skating. lol
find me

why are we yelling? i have no clue.. haha
yea you know i got them ups...

christmas = presents = money = 3 weeks of work = 400 dollars out of my pocket
im tired and broke. cant wait till christmas break..
but ahhhh finals... wish me luck .. i want that damn black robe!
and yea i finally got my acceptance letter from OU a week ago

parents been on my back every weekend
we dont talk anymore... great...
hopefully i ll move out this coming summer
and things will turn out better than they are now

2005-12-05T02:43:00.000-06:00

time passes constantly
when youre waiting for someone you like
time seems to be eternally long
and when youre with them
it passes in an instant
and right now
i feel like im waiting an eternity

---------------- --------- ---- -- - - -

well some things happened
i was at hawthorne heights
first time ever crowd surfing.. it was awesome

and went to aar and the academy is and saw everyone there

had a birthday party with the coolest people - jennifer trinh and jamie
i had a good time

(i stole the party pics from someone )

linh and andrew and the westmoore people got me an ipod
and other stuff like a horse - theyre great
last weekend went to karaoke at this korean place - it was fun
then went to a club but it was weak
kathy and nguyen were being crazy though
christmas coming up
still need to go gift shopping
Dallas anyone?
school is passing by quick..ahhh senior year
mornings still suck though
and yea.. i have 1 and a half more absences left!

2005-11-10T01:08:00.000-06:00

well today isnt anything special
just my birthfday of 18 years!!!..
day was ... bittersweet
days been kinda depressing for some reason
hate this feeling
got beat up in calculus of course
ditched sociology again
professor is a dumbass but whatever
sister took me out to eat at okura
for some sushi - was pretty good
sis wanted to take me to a strip club
stupid sister

just got my acceptance letter from UCO
still gotta send in my transcript to OU since im
pretty undecided

got pretty messed up when i drank and went to the
halloween party hocus pocus... been a long time since
ive done anything like that.. was a blurry night
man i need to get my shit together ..
but hey it was really fun though - if i remember it right

work sucks - im tired of it
i wish i didnt work anymore
everything is so shitty right now

got to see Daphne Loves Derby a couple weeks ago
that guy right there is my idol .. yeap
the guy i want to be:
tall, can sing, play guitar, practically famous

gave someone a phone call today out of no where
didnt pick up of course - didnt expect her to

2005-09-22T00:22:00.000-05:00

well week has been hectic and busy as ever -- nothing new nowadays
school and work pretty much takes up my whole day
im a nerd now so i dont party anymore -- its a good thing
hopefully senior year is gonna keep on being laid back
except for the crazy cramming and everything...
got a picnic thursday with the asians!
a football game against the college kids friday! hell yea
and i hope my prom date will be her =)) and life will be good

in my dreams i know..

andrew linh me allison@ the fair
and yea got some tickets to hawthorne heights / bayside - gonna be fun
rock on mother fuckers

2005-09-14T02:03:00.000-05:00

the only thing for me to look to now is the sky..